The way I approached the revision period of paper 3 was by trying to expand on all of my thoughts.  A lot of my thoughts weren’t fully expanded on so that makes the reader a little lost when they are reading it.  The way I expanded on my thoughts was by going back into all three texts that we used to write this paper and found more in depth quotes. Finding better quotes allows a writer to expand on his or her thoughts and produce a better paper.  I didn’t change many things in this paper.  The major thing that I did was try to expand on every thought so the reader wasn’t lost.  Sommers talks about how students think that the revision process is a rewording activity.  I believe that it is and it isn’t. When I wrote this paper yes I did go into a thesaurus and try to find more intelligent words but, I don’t think you should do that for every word that you have written in that paper.   The way that I revised my paper would tell me that my “philosophy” of of revision is more about expanding on thoughts and less of finding more intelligent words to use in the paper.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kzXwCSJTxgDp9A15cBmsGU7sNMhJuMKRj92PJETkp44/edit

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Zkex3aI7iddyNzxurdNsqG1RdMHJfJkHRx1HaZKOYEE/edit